30 by 30

This year was a BIG birthday year for me. The dreaded 30! I turned this back in March and still, I may be in denial. Heck, I still think I'm only 22. Insert T. Swift's song here. Even though I don't think I ever had an evening like Taylor described in her song, because I've had kids throughout my entire 20's... I'm sure I can pretend! Or maybe just the dancing like I'm 22 😂😁😝 Anyway, I had a dear friend recently make a goal to lose 30 pounds by the time she was 30, and she did it! I'm so incredibly proud of her and her amazing progress, she's always been a beauty but now she feels beautiful (after two kids, that is incredible for her!).

Anyway, it made me think of the things I wish I would've known by the time I turned 30 this year. Most of them (luckily) I had learned -some the hard way, see previous post on love life. If you are over the age of 30, feel free to either keep reading or go back to other posts or enjoying knowing all that you do about this beautiful life. If you are under the age of 30, please use this list. Use this list to feel better about all of the other things wonderful in your life that you already know. Or use this list to help shake those negatives out of your life. I must be on a Taylor Swift kick today- use this song with this list if you want to :)

My 30 by 30 Life Lessons Learned List

1. Be transparent. Not vapid or super shallow. I personally believe (strongly) that if you are transparent and clear about your expectations, standards, truths, etc. You have nothing to hide. This makes life 100% easier. Or maybe thats just been my history. I am a terrible liar. Trying to keep things hidden or secret isn't fun for me. #sorrynotsorry Yes, being vulnerable and open is hard. I totally get that. But if you are honest and credible, it makes things SO.MUCH.EASIER. 
   
2. Don't speed. Too much. Okay, I have a lead foot. The few speeding tickets I have are definitely apparent. However, the older I am getting the more patient I am becoming. I am not saying you have to drive like Miss Daisy or anything like that, but seriously excessive speeding, what's the point? I could go into the scary facts in regards to rate of speeding above the posted speed limit and the higher the chances/probability for accidents occurring, but I won't. Moral of the story, slow your jets and if you are going to speed, only go like 5-8 miles over the speed limit. Just an idea. 
3. Be kind. I feel like there are so many PSA's out right now about being kind and raising kind kids. I don't think I have to delve into that much but just know- be kind. 
4. Be okay with not having a million "friends." This is something that I have learned more and more the older I get. I have some amazing acquaintances. Like I love so many people and appreciate them. However, friends? I think my circle has gotten incredibly small over the past decade. Those that I do consider close friends know who they are and totally understand what this particular lesson means. 
5. Learn what real friends are. See the post above? Yeah, these real friends are the ones cheering me from the sidelines to do this blog but also helping to edit it. The real friends are there to help corral my little loves but also not afraid to help parent them when my hands are busy or I am not there. Not over-parent or automatically think their kid is innocent, but can honestly be alert to my kids' needs. These are the people that understand when I am having my "need some alone time" moments when I have to literally hide away at our home and just focus on my family or schooling, or heck, me. It takes a village and I am thankful for mine. One of these amazing friends knew how incredibly sick I had gotten along with my dear Grandma passing away before a major event for my job with 4-H. This dear, kind, incredible friend brought my family dinner from Costco. It seriously saved my family that they had food and I cried, ugly cried, how sweet and giving it was. She asked nothing in return y'all. Like nothing. She just knew that there was a need and she selflessly served someone (entirely undeserving) but because she is amazing. Seriously, I wish I could be more like this woman. 
   
6. Call your parents. I really wish more people would just take five minutes and call your parents. They love you. Always will. If you have a strained relationship, I am incredibly saddened and sorry to hear this. If you just "don't have time" make time. We lost my dear mother-in-law a few years ago and I kick myself (and my husband) that we didn't take the time to call or get together more often. There are so many life skills that I am lacking due to this lack of relationship. I should have just sucked it up and made time. I wish for my children that they knew of her more and that I could have learned how to make some of her amazing dishes that despite my best efforts, are never the same according to my husband. 
7. Forgive but don't forget. Learn to forgive people that aren't even sorry. "The act of forgiveness also does not mean excusing." C.S. Lewis. I am not saying that you should always remember anything awful that happens to you from a particular person, because that will drive you mad. Move on and learn how to forgive, this is for you and not for them. 
8. Say yes. Try new things. Take leaps into unknown territory. This also includes saying yes to yourself. Take the time to focus on you. Recharge and regroup, you will thank me for this advice. 
9. Say no. Be okay with No being a complete sentence. It is not your job to be everything to everyone and to do everything for everyone, even though (real talk) as Moms/Wives/Daughters/Sisters/Etc. it seems like we have to be. Say No. 
10. Learn new things. If you don't learn new things, you don't grow. Take the time to grow by learning new things. No one is an expert at everything. Take the time to learn. Shoot, learn a new skill, a new joke, a new yoga pose, a new dance, just take the time to learn something new. Then recognize that you learned something new that day, I amaze myself with how much new stuff I learn on a daily basis. 😂😜
11. Smile. I hate the way I look when I cry. I don't have one of those cute simply cries. I ugly cry complete with snotty nose, inaudible noses, etc. It's not pretty. Take every opportunity to smile. Smile at someone new. Smile at yourself when you are getting ready in the morning, it will jump start your morning off right. Do it now. Go get ready (unless you are in bed and focusing on some you time, see item number 9 & 10) and smile at yourself. See that beauty staring back at you? Share that smile with the world. You deserve it. 😀 
    
12. Learn to dance- then actually go and do it. I love to dance. Like I am mad I didn't get more into it when I was younger or in high school. But I love it. I look like a dang fool. But guess what? No flipping shame! Like at all. My poor children. My husband is amazing and will slow dance with me. He'll bust a move for a minute or two with me but then he is over it. I love Zumba classes, I would love to take more but for now, my living room is my dance floor and our kitchen raves are pretty rad too 🙊
13. Compliment. Take the time to give genuine compliments. If you don't have the time to compliment someone on a deeper level or you just met them, compliment them and see their face light up. It will then make you happy. See the happy ring here? Because it's a circle- insert "I now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry" scene here . 
14. Wear comfortable shoes. This is totally old lady advice right here. But guess what? Life is way too short to walk like a newborn baby calf! Find cute shoes that are both comfortable and that YOU like. Not society. Not your mean judgmental friend (see #5). A pair that makes you feel incredibly sexy and that YOU CAN conquer the world. I know you can do it! 
    
15. Brush your tongue. Again, this probably sounds insane. But you know that whole taking the time to smile when you are getting ready for the day? While you are brushing your teeth, brush your tongue. I am not a dentist, nor a dental hygienist. I personally think sticking my hands in another person's mouth sounds like a bad idea but the folks at Altima Dental explains why brushing your tongue should be done. Just trust me, do it. 
16. After you get done brushing your tongue, watch your tongue. I feel like this is a total parent idiom but I may say it to my smart-mouth children more often that I should, especially when I should listen to it myself. Words can hurt. Be careful what you say because you won't be able to take them back. So story time- while I was pregnant my sister and I got into a silly ridiculous sister fight. (If you don't have a sister, go watch Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler). Well it was a dumb fight and I was saddened to know that my sister wouldn't be here to welcome the birth of my littlest love. My mother, {bless her heart}, reminded me of forgiveness and patience and dialed my sister for me to apologize while they were literally rolling me into a C-section to get this baby out. My first phone call wasn't an apology. Of course my Mom caught onto that and reminded me the blessings of forgiveness and I then {reluctantly} called back and apologized, for real. It really was a wonderful thing to have my sister back in good graces to welcome our littlest love into this world. We've only gotten closer over this past year. I can't wait to watch our relationship continue to grow more and closer over the years. 💞
17. Have pride. No, I didn't say be prideful. I really mean, be proud of where you come from. I have so much pride for our valley and the traditions and community itself. Yes, there are some crazies. There are some loud ones. There are some WILD ones (I think I am now related to that bunch 😂😉). But this small town, my family, my traditions, they are that: MINE. They have helped shape who I am and by golly how I want my kids to be raised and who I pray that they will become someday. Once you accept these things, you will realize that these things or people or traditions or roots or whatever you want to call it, will make you love yourself and make you who you are. 
18. On my list, I did have be proud of your roots and have pride on two separate items. I covered being proud of where you come from. Now in regards to pride itself, be proud of your work. Take pride in your work or go do something else. 
    
19. Learn your family history. Then learn from what you have learned. I love family history. I love the pride that comes from learning about what my ancestors did or accomplished. My grandmother-in-law along with my mother-in-law were excellent at knowing all of the "relates" and their stories. I have been trying my best to learn my in-law side. On my own family, I love learning about all of the amazing things my family has done. On both my Dad and Mom's sides, we have family that crossed over as Pioneers, see my post on my love for Pioneer Day. On my mother's side, I have a relative that lived till she was 103, she was alive was when President Lincoln was in office. How cool is that? I wish she was alive that I could ask her what her secret for a long life would be? Man the things she must've known! Anyway, take the time to learn about your family history and if you get a chance- take one of those ancestry DNA tests. They are SO COOL! We did them for Christmas this year and they were a huge hit! I am so thankful for my Mom and her love and pride of her family history as well. 
20. Thank someone everyday. The power of gratitude is amazing. I hate when I go to bed and haven't had a chance to say thank you to someone, anyone. I usually turn to my built in best friend {the big love} and tell him thank you for being my best friend. I think it usually helps me to feel better about life than it does for him, but that's okay. It makes my evening to be able to thank him for whatever good stuff he's doing or being helpful with. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. 💋💏💓 Wahoo, only 10 more to go! Stay with me folks. 
21. Be curious. By being curious it definitely keeps your mind active. “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein 
    
22. Accept help. This I struggle with. Way too often. I am independent to a fault and hate to receive what I perceive as pity. #NoPityPartyHere But the older I get, the more willing I am to ask for and actually accept help. Someone told me that a person receives blessings when they help another person, so why should I deny them of these blessings? Especially when they've asked if they can help. I don't want you to think of this as an excuse to have people do your chores or do stuff for you, but I am learning to not turn down help either. One evening we were at home when we received a knock on our door. We opened it up and it was an amazing friend/4-H leader/Young Women advisor and her special young women who were at my house to do service. It was the most amazing and cheerful thing that I needed at that exact time. The young women were so sweet and helpful and above all, happy to be helping. I think they cleaned my windows and swept my front porch? I don't even remember the exact helpful things they did, but it was so incredibly heart warming. Special leaders and special young people. #amazing 💚
23. Be okay with doing things by yourself. This is another hard thing for me to swallow. I am social. I like to be with people, most of the time. Yet, there isn't always time for mommy playdates or time to go out with other people. I have learned to enjoy solitude. I have learned to enjoy getting to grab a bite to eat by myself and to enjoy it. I try not to think I look pathetic by myself, alone, but heck, I probably do. And guess what? I am okay with that! 😂🙋
24. Don't compare your life to others. You know that saying, "Keeping up the Jones's" You know you do. Don't try to do this. You will never be satisfied. Let me tell you that again for those of you in the back that can't hear (or read) this: YOU WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED. Never. Ever. Someone always has something better, faster, shinier, cleaner, or cooler than you. And guess what? That is OKAY! Be okay with YOU and again take pride in what you do have or bring to the table. If you are wondering what you bring to the table, call me. I'll tell you how amazing you are and the special gifts that you have. Remember number 13 up there ↑ well, call me. I need to compliment someone today, let me compliment you. 
25. Get a pet. A pet rock doesn't count. Remember when pet rocks where the cool thing? Did I just date myself? Probably... Either way. Get a pet. This gives you the opportunity to learn to take care of something else other than yourself. It keeps you grounded. Get a fish. A cat. A dog. A snake. A lizard. Anything. Well, I don't like half of those I just listed but hey, you might. These pets can help combat loneliness and when you are doing things on your own (see #23), pets help you realize that you are not entirely alone. Also, when was the last time a friend or family member or a child was so excited to see you they may have pee'd a little? Or is that just our dog? Either way, get a pet. I don't care if you adopt, buy, find, etc. Just get one and thank me or hate me later. 😏
26. Make childhood memorable. My kids are wild. Like no joke, I think part feral. I am okay with that. They laugh. They fight. But they above all, they know love. I am so thankful for these little loves I could burst. They are all in different stages but so fun to watch interact with one another. It's so fun to reminisce about trips we've taken or activities we've done and to see what they remember about each one. Take the time to take the trips. I love that my husband {the big love} will take one of the boys with him most of the time when he goes and shoes horses. It's not that he wants the extra "help" that they provide. But he wants to make memories with them. I love hearing all about their stories of adventures at the end of the day with Dad. I love when I get to spend time outside with them. It usually ends in laughter (after fights/crying/hopeless/etc) especially if have been outback with our horses or cattle. I love when I talk to my siblings about random memories at family holidays. It's funny how each one of us have slightly different memories of the same situation/trip/tradition. Take the time to enjoy your kids. They are only little for a little while. If you want a GIANT tear jerker- listen to this song.   Or this one that I heard recently.  Have the tissues ready. 
27. No pity parties, dance parties yes. Pity parties, no. Every minute you spend hosting your own pity party is 60 seconds you delay working on a solution. I heard once that: Adventure or Ordeal, it all depends on your attitude. I have now started referring to crisis situations as adventures, not what they are- a crisis, drama, over reaction, etc. This changes my mindset to think of ways to solve the situation instead of "adding fuel to the fire."  
    
28. Other people's opinions do not define you. Unless you are trying out for "The Voice" or "American Idol" then maybe those opinions in that particular situation might. But for the most part, they really don't. What other people think of you, is NONE of your business. You probably can't change it because they've already made up their minds. No matter how loud their opinions are of you, don't let it distract you from being YOU. You have the opportunity to choose to be whoever you want to be. I hope you always want to be a better person, but if you are working on you, who am I to judge? Oh that's right, I am not one to judge. And you judging me or my life? Again, not your place but if you are going to: that's on you. Not on me. 😀
29. Work hard. I think this one is a given especially if you've been reading all of the above points. When you are working hard, don't talk loud about it. I am a 100% actions over words type of gal. Let your actions be your motivator and let them to speak for themselves. You know the type of person that has an opinion on EVERYTHING or has already done it (but of course, better) but can't really exactly SHOW you what they know or can do. Yeah? Don't be that person. Show people what you know. 
    
30. Listen. Always. You know the person we just talked about in 29? Do you know what they don't do? Listen. Like probably not ever. Don't be like that person. Speak quietly and listen. You do not have to agree with people. Most of the time people just want to be heard (some more than others 😂😅😬). Most relationships struggle with communication. Why? Because one or both of those within the relationship are not listening. Whether that be on purpose or not, try to listen, openly. Listen to your elders. No, they are not always right. But they've had years of making mistakes and how to fix them (the right way). Listen to podcasts. I love these because you can get other people's ideas and listen to them too. Again, you may not always agree but it's not a bad idea to be exposed to other people's ideas/cultures/etc. 

Wow. We made it y'all. If you are still reading, thank you. This is not gospel by any means. Nor is this a post implying that I have my life together. These are just a few {30} of the life lessons I wish I would've known by the time I turned 30. Is there anything that you wish you would've known? Comment below and let me know!